Personal History of Joshua Payne

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    Josh's Life

  • Met Justin - Personal

    Justin is my best friend and the closest thing I have to a brother. He was the best man at my wedding and was present for the birth of my daughter. He pulled me out of my shell and helped me realize who I was as a person.
  • Rejected from Stanford - Professional

    The first academic setback I faced. It crushed me. It shifted my goals away from Psychology toward teaching. I feel it makes me a more understanding teacher when it comes to students that are experiencing disappointment. It also has taught me to have multiple plans. As hard as you work toward a goal, some circumstances are out of your control.
  • First Date with Sara - Personal

    I was struggling with some severe depression right as we got together. I had to start seeing a professional again. The spark of this relationship provided the glimpse of a future ahead.
  • Graduated from UTK with English Literature Bachelors - Professional

    I obtained this degree with the intent of becoming a Secondary English teacher, but I ran into issues with UTK's teaching program. This makes me a better teacher by giving me a background knowledge in reading and writing.
  • Proposed to Sara - Personal

    The time after I graduated from college the first time was incredibly challenging. Sara was the torch that kept me marching through the darkness. This gave me a tangible goal to start working toward.
  • Graduated from UTK with Psychology Bachelors - Professional

    I received this degree in one calendar year, 4.0 GPA in all of my classes, working full-time, and planning a wedding. I am so proud of this time in my life. It will make me a better teacher because I know I can accomplish great things when I put the effort into it. It also expanded my base knowledge with additional science and social studies.
  • Married Sara - Personal

    The best part of my life until this past week. Here was someone that truly loves me despite it all. I do not know how she does it, but I thank her for it. I get to go through life knowing my best friend is there by my side. She also gives me reason to keep fighting to live through this life. I cannot leave her alone in it.
  • Rejected from UTK Counseling Psych Doctoral Program - Professional

    Out of over 150 applicants, I was one of the 28 finalists to be accepted into this program. There were six openings. I was not accepted. This was one of the darkest days. I did not know what would lie ahead. After introspection and talking with my wife, I turned my focus back toward education, specifically elementary education. This will make me a better teacher by reminding me that I will not succeed in everything that I attempt. Self-reflection is an important step in the teaching process.
  • Accepted into Carson-Newman - Professional

    Hope was reunited. I had a purpose again. I will show that they were right to give me the opportunity. This will make me a better teacher by, besides the obvious, showing me how important approval can be for a student. Motivating students is one of the most important jobs for a teacher. Life is bleak without motivation.
  • Gwen born - Personal

    My daughter gives me purpose. She sleeps all day and cannot lift her head, but she has put a fear in my heart that knows no bounds. I want this little girl to be proud of me, and I want it to be for a worthwhile reason. In a funny way, this could have been a professional event as well. My life just shifted into a higher gear. This is also the event that takes suicide off the table forever. I will not force my daughter to grow up without a father.