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Moving to New York
I moved to New York the summer after fifth grade. The move was very scary because I had spent almost my entire life in Connecticut, I made my first friends there & my closest family lived there. My family and I moved in with my soon to be step dad that summer, Steve. He would come to fulfill the position of being my dad for the rest of my life, but this move was a big step for all of us. I knew no one here at that time but I'm so thankful for all of the opportunities this move has brought us. -
Dad's Death
My dad passed away at the age of 44 from a heart attack. I was only eleven years old at the time and I had not seen him in over a year. When my mother had told me that he had passed, my whole body went numb and I was in disbelief. This was one of the scariest moments in my life because his death was the first family passing I'd ever experienced, and it opened my eyes to the real world. I've never spoken about my father much because he was not a great man but regardless, I will always love him. -
Making the Varsity Soccer Team
I have been playing soccer since I was four years old and had always dreamed of making the Varsity Team. Making the team was one of my biggest accomplishments in life because it brought me out of my comfort zone and helped me to improve my skills. This team brought me closer to my best friend Sadie Mae and was the start of my high school career. I played as a midfield starter and was so scared to play with girls I barely knew but I'm so thankful that this is how I got to start high school. -
My First Goal
Since I was four years old, I always played as a defender in soccer, so I'd never had the chance to score. However, I played as a midfielder freshman year. My first goal was a big accomplishment for me because I'd never imagined I would ever score a goal. I took the shot from the 20-yard line, anticipating the goalie would easily catch it. However, my shot was placed so well that it went right over the goalies head. I remember jumping up in excitement because I'd never experienced such a high. -
Silver Award
The Silver Award is the highest award that a Girl Scout Cadette can earn. My troop & I worked to build three free little libraries for our community so that we could encourage kids to get outside & read more. My library was put up in Castle Park, & the other two were put in Tonetta Lake & Wells Park. We spent our entire eighth-grade year working to raise money & awareness for these libraries. I had never worked so hard on a project and this award was hands down one of my biggest accomplishments. -
Giving up during Recovery
Tearing my ACL was the most serious injury I'd ever dealt with. It required surgery, a first for me, & a long six-month recovery that included tons of physical therapy. I remember when I was first able to stand & hold my leg up using crutches. Being crutch reliant for six weeks was exhausting. The thought that I would never get to swim that summer or return to soccer the next season was even worse. I gave up. I was my own biggest failure & I wanted nothing more than to curl up & stop trying. -
Grandma's Suicide
I was dumbfounded to hear that my grandmother had died at only 63 years old. I didn't find out that she had committed suicide until days later. I was shocked. I had seen her only a few months prior & had no idea how much she was struggling, financially and mentally. When we arrived at her house to clean up her stuff, I was even more surprised to learn that she was a serious hoarder. By that I mean she could barely move around her house because she kept everything. Losing her made me feel alone. -
Saying Goodbye to Fudge
Fudge was not my first dog, but he was the dog that stuck with me throughout my childhood. It's difficult to even describe how I felt when I had to say goodbye to him. I had just come home from my grandma's funeral only to learn that he was no longer able to stand. I remember feeling more numb at that moment than when my dad died. I was furious at the world & surprised that life could be so cruel. His death felt like the end of my childhood & the end of what I had left from life in Connecticut. -
Returning to Sports
After a long six month recovery, finally being cleared to return to soccer & lacrosse felt like a dream come true. It was one of my biggest personal achievements because I watched myself learn how to walk & run again & still continue to push even when I felt like giving up. The recovery was not easy & six months of envy & anger towards the world takes a lot out of a person. Being able to return to sports was a big win for me. I felt like I'd gained a whole new appreciation for the little things. -
Neglecting my Depression
I had just ended my first ever friendship here in New York & was struggling through a soccer season where I felt alone & humiliated. I had never felt so disconnected from the world. I struggled to get out of bed half of the time & was sick for three continuous months all because of the mental state I was in. Refusing to admit & acknowledge my depression was by far my biggest personal mistake. Feeling like it was something to be embarrassed from was even worse.I only failed myself by ignoring it. -
Returning to Soccer
After almost two years off from soccer, getting back out on the field was beyond embarrassing. I'd returned to lacrosse that year, but missing a season of soccer took a toll on my skills, especially with a brace that made me look half bionic. Watching myself struggle to do such simple things like dribble was both difficult & embarrassing to watch, especially since half of the team was new to me, having them see me struggle was humiliating. There were points I just wanted to quit because of it. -
Returning Without a Brace
This past lacrosse season, I chose to return without my ACL brace because I felt like it had held me back in sports. I was so adamant about not wearing it as soon as I didn't need to that I ignored the fact that my knee was not strong enough to work on its own. I failed myself & made the biggest mistake of my life when I learned that I partially re-tore my ACL. I'm now in physical therapy working to strengthen my knee but I am out of lacrosse because I couldn't just get the help my knee needed.
