-
Benito Juarez is born
That's wonderful. That's a funny word. It reminds me of Wonder Bread. Whatever happened to Wonder Bread? Hmm..... -
Antonio de Santa Anna is elected Prez.
Santa Anna was a president. George W. Bush was a president. A bush is a plant. Moses talked to a bush. The bush was God. Therefore, Santa Anna is God! Yeah, well anyways, God was more like a caudillo, and he invaded Texas, and the Texans were all like, No way Jose, so he went back and he was sad. -
Texas is annexed by US
Yeah, Texas. Fun stuff. -
Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo is signed
The US got New Mexico, Arizona, most of California, and they got to keep Texas. Yay California! That's the best one. -
Santa Anna is overthrown by Benito Juarez
Benny starts La Reforma (for those not fluent in Spanish like me, it means "The Reform." I know, ya wouldn't have guessed it) which is: minimum wage (McDonalds!), Non-Catholic public education, and land re-distribution. It is a very nice plan. -
French invade Mexico
Hey! What happened to Marilyn Monroe and her "stay out of our backyard" plan?! Nuh-uh, the US isn't going to like that. Well anyways, they invaded because Mexico couldn't pay their debt, and Archduke Maxmillian, blah, blah, blah... -
Fall of French Mexican Empire
Woohoo France, you kept that plan alive for a whole 3 years. Good for you. That's ok you tried your hardest. Have you noticed how serious I am this time. I've actually said something relevant in almost every one. -
Porfirio Diaz comes to power
Oh my god, there's too many people. I wish Mexico would just choose one. Well anyways, he was all "Order and Progress" and all those revolutionaries were all like "no, not nice, liberty too", and he was all "hey my plan actually worked, so ha" and they were all like "bleh", and then everyone's brains imploded from learning too much Mexican history. -
Pancho Villa dies
: )
: (
:O
;-)
: * -
Madera takes power
and he had that plan of ayala thingy and blah blah blah... ugh, doing real work is exhausting. -
Madera resigns and Huerta takes power
blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh -
Mexican Constitution
It was the constitution of Mexico -
Obregon becomes president
His name sounds like Oregon. That's where my cousins live. It's very green there. -
PRI becomes only party in Mexico
Party=Fun
Fun=Bendy Straws
Bendy Straws=Capri Sun
Capri Sun=Yummy
Yummy=Rice
Rice=Asian
Asian=me!
me!=bored
bored=mexican revolution (I'm just kidding, Mr. Newhart. History is a very exciting subject)
