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Merry Birthday!
According to my mother, I "interrupted Christmas dinner" when I was born the second child of Kenny and Theresa Krebs. Both of my parents are of German heritage and are practicing Catholics who chose to raise us in a very small, rural community. Positives attributes of this include a strong foundation in faith, a deep commitment to family, and a tight-knit community. It should be noted that my parents share a similar background and there was no diversity within the community. -
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The Roots of My Culture
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Separation Anxiety
My mother made me the most beautiful birthday cake shaped like a butterfly to celebrate my 5th birthday. She cleaned the house, dressed in her most fabulous attire, and invited my dad to join us. I didn't understand at the time why I hadn't seen him in weeks, but I realized that day the reason: my parents were getting divorced. My world came crashing down, and I somehow internalized blame. It was me that my father didn't want to see anymore, and I didn't know why. -
First Communion
At the age of 7, I completed my First Communion at St. Peter's in Lindsay. This shows the religious views that formed part of my cultural roots: tradition, family expectations, community expectations. Memories I have of that day:
1. Awkward picture standing between divorced parents.
2. Irritated with Mom - She took too long to get ready, and I was so late that I had to process up the aisle alone.
3. She made my dress by hand. It was an honor, but much more simple than the rest. -
Community Disappointments
During my high school years, these experiences shaped my willingness to accept and appreciate others' differences.
1. I dated a boy outside of my race. "Friends" called me racial slurs, and I immediately saw their ignorance.
2. I found a job in the larger community outside of mine and created diverse friendships. My parents disapproved.
3. After attending a Baptist church with a friend, my mom expressed great displeasure at the idea of my "converting" to a different religion. -
Truly, Madly, Deeply
I married the man of my dreams and promised to be a nurturing wife to my husband Ryan. During the early years, I worried that he would leave me and had nightmares that our happy life was only a façade. I still had deep issues related to my father leaving my mother, and I imposed them on my own relationship. This created a need in me to present myself as the perfect wife and the perfect mother, which actually made me feel like a phony. I couldn't live up to my own expectations. -
Motherhood!
I became a mother when Liz was born. Several years later, we added Alexa and Noah to our family. I was determined to be a perfect mom and a perfect wife and associated homemade cakes and outfits with love because of past experience. I became a stay-at-home mom. I took college classes along the way with the goal of eventually earning a degree. We sacrificed to put my kids in Catholic school and enroll them in sports to give them what I didn't have. -
Motherhood: Take 2!
My middle daughter, Alexa, was born. We had been trying for 5 years, so we were elated! Liz had just started Kindergarten, and I had started college classes in teaching the year before. In my mind, this career would allow me to continue to be around as much as possible for my family while contributing an income to help support them. I paused my education for a short time after Alexa's birth. -
Motherhood: Take 3!
Surprise! Baby number three was a boy, Noah. After his birth, I gained a lot of weight and felt depressed that I was so uncomfortable. I felt uneducated, unimportant and unattractive. When he was three, I began working at his Mother's Day Out program and attending classes full time. I also started losing weight and exercising. This gave me a new perspective as I began to see myself as someone who could be competent in the workforce. -
I Always Knew
During a family vacation, my younger brother announced to the family that he was gay. This was not surprising to me at all, and I felt love for him and sadness that he felt the need to keep it hidden for so long. His parents felt differently. They told him he was in college and was exploring this idea because of the people he was around. While I accepted and understood and supported Jeffrey, I felt conflicted about how to explain to my kids the conflict with our Catholic faith. -
Bachelor's Degree
I finally earned my Bachelor's degree from TWU in 2014. I was named Student Teacher of the Year and felt so proud of my accomplishments. I had been a college student for 18 years, off and on! I began teaching at a Catholic school, the same school my kids attended. I was always conscientious of my actions, my posts, and my behavior out in the community, and I worked way more than I ever thought I would as a teacher. I knew that there was something missing in my career. -
Family Support
Our extended family including my in-laws, my siblings, and both sets of my parents live within 15 minutes of us. Family is very important in my life, but can also be overwhelming at times. While I am very direct with my mother and have established boundaries, my husband is an only child; therefore, we spend a lot of time with his parents. They will often come to my house and come inside without knocking. While this drives me nuts, I love them deeply. -
Proud Mom!
Liz graduated from OU with her Master's degree. She is seeking licensure in professional counseling. This inspired me to begin my master's program in school counseling, a dream that I pushed aside because I thought a Master's degree would be unattainable as a wife, mother, and someone with little income. -
Goodbye Teaching!
Because I taught at a Catholic school, I was being paid very little and was working at least 60 hours a week. I decided something had to change at began searching for a better job with a higher income and similar benefits. After being rejected time and again, I enrolled in a Master's program at ASU. A week after classes began, I was offered a job at a local college as a Dual Credit Coordinator. Higher salary, better benefits, and now I'm a graduate student, too. Goodbye teaching!
