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Trust vs Mistrust
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Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt
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Initiative vs. Guilt
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Industry vs. Inferiority
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Military Brat...Three Countries in Seven Years!
I spent the years 1979-1983 at Camp Zama, Japan, 20 miles outside Tokyo. I lived apart from my parents, with paternal grandparents from 1983-1984. Moved to live with parents again in Heidelberg, Germany from 1984-1986. Moving every 2-4 years was traumatic as much as it was life-transforming. During these years I was in the Industry vs Inferiority stage, working to develop competence and self-confidence. Frequent moves and family separations stressed the micro and exo systems of family and work. -
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Identity vs. Role Confusion
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Entered the Navy...naive and idealistic seventeen-year old...
I was still in adolescence, seeking my own identity. I thought it was my duty to follow my father's example and join the military, and avoid taking debt for college. I instantly regretted my decision and failed at the task for this stage (Identity vs Role Confusion), struggling with lowered self-esteem and depression. Afraid of the shame of quitting, I lumbered on, honorably discharged after 20 years service. This impacted the macro system, as I joined the Navy post-cold war. -
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Intimacy vs. Isolation
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Married at age 22...honoring culture, tradition
I had barely entered young adulthood, marrying a Hindu, Indian, Punjabi woman whom my parents and grandparents approved. We had a large wedding and rites and rituals according to strictest tradition, and even lived with my parents after the wedding. In this stage of Intimacy vs. Isolation, I hid my depression and PTSD from my family and my bride. The merger of two families impacted the meso system, as well as the exo system, as I was sent by the Navy to Florida after our first year of marriage. -
Transitioned to civilian life...and substance dependence.
I transferred into the reserves and joined a Boston startup. Moving from Boston, leaving active Navy service, learning a new job, were all stressful to the intimacy we were still working towards in our marriage. I traveled frequently so we were often apart for months at a time. I self-medicated with marijuana and alcohol, becoming dependent without ever accepting or acknowledging my behavior. In short order I was terminated, struggling to stay employed (exo system). -
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Generativity vs. Stagnation
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Entered rehab, embraced recovery and rejoined my family!
I finally decided I would no longer fail at Intimacy vs Isolation and entered treatment for substance abuse at age 42. Over the past two years I have tipped the balance towards embracing connections with my wife and children as opposed to isolating in addiction and depression. The micro system (our family) endured the greatest challenges and joy as I entered recovery. I also began working on the next stage of finding meaning in my life. -
Found my calling and purpose in yoga and social work.
With two years sobriety and having completed training to become a yoga and meditation teacher, I realized that my purpose, mission in life was to help others, especially veterans with PTSD and substance addiction. I applied to ASU's MSW program and committed the next phase of my career to successfully meeting the task of this life stage - Generativity vs Stagnation. This impacts my exo system, as well as our micro system as I transitioned from stay-at-home dad to full-time student and intern. -
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Ego Integrity vs Despair
