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3.2 Social Comparison
Today at lunch someone noticed that my legs were hairy and pointed it out to everyone at the lunch table (they had already started shaving and I hadn't been allowed yet). My hair also doesn't smooth out in a ponytail as nice as my other friends and they've started wearing overalls (I guess they're in fashion now?), maybe I can convince mom to get me a pair but, like, a new pair like everyone else not a used pair from when she was growing up... -
7.1 Transition to Middle School
My transition into middle school happened from 5th grade to 6th grade. My experience matches up with the text in terms of changes in responsibility (work was graded more seriously and I had to follow a schedule of classes in different rooms) and I remember feeling like there were definitely more people in my grade than I thought. I made new and different friends with people I was not in class with before and classes seemed to get more challenging but in a fun way for me. -
3.1 Social Cognition
I think if you ask anyone in my family they'll say I constantly behaved as if there were an imaginary audience, I belong on the stage. I was quite the dramatic child to begin with but I do also remember feeling like everyone was watching me at all times and I'd feel super self-conscious about my appearance. I think this also led to more formal ways of thinking where I would imagine what people would be saying about me (whether real or not), not based on actual experience. -
6.1 Parent Adolescent Conflict
I've always had a strong attachment with my mother. We'd have conflicts but nothing major and my mother would always explain what was going on and why. I had the most conflict at my fathers house with him and by proxy his wife. They were strict and strongly conventional/traditional which started to conflict with my growing logic and reasoning. Why can't I just leave my bed unmade? Why can't I have my elbows on the table during dinner? Would that mean I'm lesser of a person? No. Thus, conflict. -
1.1 Entering Adolescence
Looking back on my life, I recognized adolescence as becoming a teenager. Santrock (2018) describes the transitional factors between childhood and adolescence as multifaceted including cognitive and biological changes. I know for sure I felt a difference when I turned 13, but I did not go through puberty until 16. Unlike what is described by Santrock (2018), this seemed to be solely a numerical age transition for me. -
2.2 Niche Picking
In 8th grade, I was finally old enough to audition for the school musical. I have always been a naturally theatrical person (like both of my parents) so I feel like that had a lot to do with that niche I chose for myself. My dad was a band director for a time while I was growing up and I'm sure that environment contributed to my desire to be involved in musical theater. I continued to be involved in band, choir, and musical theater throughout high school and into early adulthood. -
3.3 The Fluctuating Self
I can't believe I still have to go to every family's thanksgiving...I always feel so fake talking to my family members who don't understand who I am at all. When I go to my mom's side, it's stuffy and crowded and sweltering but definitely more comfortable than my dad's and/or step-mom's side! I always worry about saying something wrong or inappropriate or doing something that seems normal to me but I'll get in trouble for with the "higher class" family. -
4.1 Gender Intensification
Gender intensification is a tricky aspect of my development to piece out. I feel like around this age I mostly wanted to just fit in with my girl friends and be liked by boys and so I tried to just fit into that female gender role (even though I didn't really mesh well with other girls my age). It's tough because I know I didn't see it as a gender role back then but it is something that I fell into. As far as skills, I was good at different things but I wouldn't call them stereotypically female. -
6.2 Stimulation
When I was growing up I think the purpose of my friendships was mostly for amusement. I don't think I understood how to be a friend on a deeper level but mostly needed to be in a group or friends at school. I bounced around to a few different groups but never really built a lasting relationship with anyone from high school. I was typically the odd one out. I did a lot of watching and listening, gaining information and entertainment from what others in those groups were doing. -
2.1 Maturation Timing
I was technically considered a late bloomer, my menarche was when I was 16 years old. I definitely felt out of place because most of my peers had already gone through it all and I was being left behind. I remember even lying that I already had my period just to be able to talk to my female friends and fit in. I imagine if I had developed alongside my friends I wouldn't have stressed out about it as much or have been distracted by it. -
7.3 Intrinsic Motivation
In high school, I know I was intrinsically motivated to be successful in the performing arts. I knew it was something I was good at and, like the text mentions, I received praise often from my family for my skills. I remember really wanting to do well in band and choir, practicing the music, giving my full attention to improving, and letting myself become immersed into each of these classes. My mom was an excellent motivator, encouraging me to do things I love to do and enjoy, no matter what. -
6.3 Companionship
In high school, especially after I was able to drive myself around, I feel I made friendships more for the purpose of having people to hang out with and socialize. I was able to start going to events (birthday parties, regular parties, out to movies, etc.). This often involved me tagging along with a group of friends or another to events they were invited to or me asking to tag along but it started to become a more regular attempt on my part. -
7.2 Transition From High School to College
I definitely remember feeling the "top-dog phenomenon" like it's mentioned in the book, even though I didn't know it was called that. I generally felt that this was a positive move for me as well. I had less parental monitoring but I still lived at my mothers house since my college was in the same city. I felt more and more like an actual "grown-up" and felt good about being able to choose the classes I wanted versus having my schedule dictated by the school. I liked having more time in my day. -
8.1 Rite of Passage
As is mentioned in the text about western society, I did not go through any specific rite of passage as some cultures may do. I would consider graduating from high school a sort of rite of passage or having sex for the first time in my high school years as some sort of life change but nothing ritualistic or significantly celebratory. I know my sisters went through confirmation through their church but that wasn't something I was required to do since I'd be at mom's during classes on Wednesdays. -
1.2 Emerging Adulthood
Growing up I felt that development periods were solely based on age so I believe I magically "became" an adult at 18 years old but I know for a fact I did not understand exactly what that meant. As a 33 year old now, I'm still learning about "adulting"; I've only recently been thinking about my identity within the last 10 years. Now that I've been learning that these transitions are periods of time, I recognize I went through stages of instability, self-focus, and feeling in-between.