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Cincinnati, Ohio
Born March 14, 1997 -
Birthdate
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Iowa City, Iowa
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Cincinnati, Ohio
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DOCM
My sisters were born. I remember getting a cookie bouquet and the yellow and green chairs in my moms hospital room. -
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Feyetville, Arkansas
Half of Kindergarten - Half of 3rd Grade -
Moved to Switzerland
Being told we were moving to Switzerland is my earliest memory of loss. It is also one of my more vivid memories. My parents gave us charm bracelets and on the box of mine "a journey soon begins" was written. My parents asked if I knew what that meant and in that moment it dawned on me and I immediately started sobbing. -
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Geneva, Swtizerland
Half of 3rd Grade - Half of 5th Grade -
First Day at New School
First day at my new school in Switzerland. I had to start in the middle of the school year and still had not gotten over leaving my friends behind in Arkansas. -
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Cincinnati, Ohio
Half of 5th Grade - 7th Grade -
Moved Back to America
Despite being excited to be going back to the US, the move was still very hard for me because I was leaving my friends behind and would have to start at a new school. I had friends in Cincinnati because we had lived there before, but they did not go to my school so I only saw them on weekends. -
First Day at New School
Had to start school in the middle of the school year. I was in 5th grade but was a little behind in math because in Switzerland we had not yet learned multiplication and division, but in my new school that had already been taught. I also knew very little about American history because that was not taught in Switzerland. -
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Tampa, Florida
8th Grade - 12th Grade -
Moved to Florida
The move to Florida also sticks out in my mind as one of the most painful memories I have. I had let myself get comfortable somewhere and develop real friendships, because we had built a house and it was supposed to be our forever house. We had barely been in it a year and already we were moving again. My dad told me by himself because he had been the one who promised we would not move again until I graduated high school. I tear up thinking about that moment to this day. -
First Day at New School
Began 7th grade at Berkeley Preparatory School. The first time I began a new school at the beginning of the school year, but that did not make it any less difficult. -
Breakup with Will
Will was my first boyfriend so the breakup seemed like the end of the world at the time. The breakup was not mutual--he broke up with me to date someone else. -
Admitted to Hospital
I was admitted to the hospital during my freshman year of high school for about a month. I might not look it in the photo, but I was extremely sick. The doctors did not know what was wrong for a long time, and for awhile they thought I had cancer. I had days of fevers not breaking and at times I had little to no immune system. It is still not clear what was wrong, but the doctors think it was due to stress. -
First Day at New School
I left Berkeley and transferred to my sisters school, Academy at the Lakes, to begin my sophomore year at high school. Berkeley expected a lot, and after being sick and missing so much school there was no way for me to catch up. I was also very unhappy in general as I had no friends. Even though it was a fresh start that I chose, being the new girl was always very hard for me. -
Breakup with Evan
I do not remember much about this breakup except that he broke up with me. We got back together briefly for about a week before breaking up again. I was upset the first time, but I think the second time I agreed it was for the best. -
Breakup with Dante
This is another relationship I barely remember. He did not go to my school so I did not see him that often and the relationship was very short, only about 2-3 months. I broke up with him because I just wasn't that into him. -
Breakup with David
David and I dated on and off and it really came down to I was way more into him than he was into me. We ended things because I ended up developing feelings for his friend Shubh. It was basically mutual though because he said he didn't really care and we stayed good friends for the remainder of high school. -
Molly Died
Molly was our first family dog. I felt a lot of guilt because I was not in a very good place mentally at the time so I never really noticed how sick she was and did not spend much time with her. Her death was a shock to me, as there was an emergency and we had to rush her to the vet where we ended up having to put her to sleep. -
High School Graduation
Graduation was a sad event for me not because of graduation itself, but because Molly died the day before. I was extremely unhappy in high school, so the end of it was something to celebrate. That said, it was still and end to something, so it was a loss. -
Breakup with Shubh
Shubh was my longest and healthiest relationship through high school. I ended up breaking up with him because I did not want a boyfriend to start college (and we would have been very long distance) and I wasn't really into him romantically anymore. The hard part was that I lost my best, and really only friend at the time. -
Moved to Bloomington
I was ready for my move to Bloomington because it meant I was going to IU. This move happened earlier than planned because after breaking up with Shubh, I realized there was really no reason to stay in Tampa as I did not really have any friends. I was in desperate need of a fresh start, but still leaving my family was hard. I ended up being way more homesick than I ever thought I would be. -
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Bloomington, IN
Indiana University -
Friendship Ended with Stephanie
Stephanie was my freshman year roommate in the dorms. We were decent friends but once she got into a sorority and I didn't, she became a whole new person and actually told me she was better than me. We ended up hating each other. -
Mrs. Douglas Died
Mrs. Douglas was a resident I became very close to while I worked at Bell Trace. I served her and her husband lunch every shift I worked. Her death was unexpected as it was Mr. Douglas who was ill and we thought was going to die. When he became sick she stopped eating and to me it seemed like she wanted to die because she never wanted to live without him. I had to quit my job for awhile after she passed because I couldn't work without crying. -
Quit Bell Trace
I had to quit my job at Bell Trace after Mrs. Douglas died because I could not work without crying. My boss basically encouraged me to quit because I was not able to complete my shifts. -
Mr. Douglas Died
Even though I was much closer with Mrs. Douglas, Mr. Douglas was very dear to me too. After quitting my job I made a point to continue to visit him and bring him his favorite ice cream. His death was a total shock as he died in a car accident. My grandfather came over to tell me the news, and I was a mess. Mr. Douglas's death didn't affect me for as long as Mrs. Douglas's though because I knew how depressed he had been since she died and he was happier because he was now with her. -
Friendship Ended w/Tess and Danielle
I was friends with Danielle and Tess for about a year before our friendship had an explosive ending. This is the relationship I chose to do my Relationship Graph on. -
Cheese Died
Cheese's passing is something I am still not over as there is so much guilt surrounding his passing. I had to put him to sleep because I just knew his quality of life wasn't good anymore. He was very old when I adopted him, but his death still came so much sooner than I expected. I adopted him in March 2017, so I did not even get two years with him. But for those two years, he was my whole world. -
College Graduation
Graduating IU was happy because of graduation itself, but brought lots of complicated emotions. I was sad because I never really enjoyed my time at IU because there was long periods of time when I did not have friends and never had the college experiences I wanted to have. Now that my time there was ended, I had to make peace with the fact that I never got the undergrad experience I wanted. -
Quit Bell Trace
I had to quit Bell Trace again when I moved to Chicago. This time was less difficult for me because even though I was close with some of the residents, the job was no longer enjoyable because of staffing issues (also I hated my co-works). I actually ended up quitting about a month earlier than expected because I was so upset/angry every time I left work I decided it was not worth staying. -
Moved to Chicago
My move to Chicago was very exciting for me, but I still felt a great sense of loss because my grandparents lived in Bloomington. I saw them at least once a week during my entire college experience, and they are two of the most important people in my life. I also knew my boyfriend and I were going to have to do long distance until he finished his degree -
COVID
This was around this time I realized COVID was a big deal because classes got moved online for the remainder of the semester. I also started to panic because my parents told me to come home and that we were isolating upstate. -
Town Hall
Even though I knew classes were going to be online this fall, I still had the tiniest big of hope that they wouldn't be. After the town hall I felt like this hope has been crushed, and I finally had to accept this reality.
