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Becoming a Big Sister for the First Time
For the first three years of my life I was an only child, and life was pretty good, as far as I can remember. November 5, 1993 my little brother Ryan was born into the world. I was a now a big sister; I loved this little boy, cared about his future, and began to have empathy for another human being. I had to share my parents for the first time, but something about caring for my little brother gave me a sense of purpose that has never left me. I enjoyed showing him the world. -
Impact of Becoming a Big Sister
At the age of 3 I was in early childhood and at this stage I was developing my relationships, and adding more play into my life. I think having a younger brother to experience the world with and play with enhanced my social skills; I think I became more empathetic and outgoing. Before Ryan came I came home from school and had all the attention and now I had to share my time. But I wanted to and I think that led to a long life of compassion for others. -
Moving to My First House and Becoming a Big Sister Once Again
When I was 8 years old my second little brother Tyler was born. I was now the oldest and responsible for two younger brothers. I did want a sister to play with, but Ryan and Tyler brought a world of joy to me. Since our family was growing we had to move out of our condo and moved into my first house; our family's first house. We were in a neighborhood for the first time, I had to walk to the bus, make new friends, all while adjusting to a new sibling. On a micro and macro level my life changed. -
Changes Continue
When Tyler was born my family was living in a condo and we were desperate for more space. , so we bought our first home with a yard and a long street. Being in middle childhood friends were becoming increasingly important. Living on that street I met 2 young girls that today are still my closest friends. If Tyler hadn't been born that move may not have happened. Furthermore, continuing my role as big sister helped me understand many view points from different peer ages, as well as playing. -
Depression at 16
High school was a difficult time for me. My junior year I struggled to stay focused, think about college, and not crumble under the pressure. Eventually I did crumble and was hospitalized as a result of my depression. I didn't like who I was and didn't know how to change. I had a plan for life, graduate high school, go to college, get a job, and so on. I panicked when I didn't fit into my plans. I thought I was failing life. This attitude shaped my outlook on life for the next few years. -
Losing Control
When I was hospitalized I was in the height of adolescence, the world revolved around me, and yet I was so insecure about who I was.During this time of my life I believe my trajectory was halted because I needed to change. It would just take me a few more years to establish a healthier way to live my life and to stop my internal battles of not being enough and not being "normal". -
Leaving College After Two Months
After my hospitalization at 16 I tried to continue my life plan by graduating from high school and going to college. After 2 months in college I suffered from panic attacks, depression and eventually went back to the hospital. I took 2 years off of school to figure out who I was, what I wanted, and how to do it all in a healthy way. I watched my friends continue their "normal" college experience, while I was at home waiting for my life to start. This period was the biggest transition in my life. -
Accepting There is No Plan
Being hospitalized for the second time halted my college experience. I was entering adulthood and didn't know how to grow up. I had bad habits, felt like a victim, and was isolating. I emotionally and mentally hit rock bottom. During this period I had to ignore that fact that my life plan was moving at a different pace than my peers; I had to do what was best for me and that was not easy. I made new friends and relied more on my family. I was growing into my adulthood as a result of my pain. -
Losing My Mom to Cancer
After taking 2 years off of school, I went back to a local community college to start my studies again. After my first semester back, I got the worst news of my life-my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer. She battled the disease for 16 months until her body could no longer fight. At 22 my brothers and I had lost our mom. I stayed home, decided not to go away to finish college, and took another year off school to help my dad and brothers. This event forever changed my life. -
The Impact of Loss
Losing my mom at 22 with my 2 brothers at home forced me to grow up. I never left home for college. I stayed home to help my family out, while also processing the loss of my mother. My "this will never happen to me" bubble burst. I view the world differently since she passed. I suffered loss many don't experience until later adulthood. During this stage in my life I should've, or felt I should've had more experience away from home. Since losing my mom I've had to accept life on life's terms. -
Finally Graduating
To this day, graduating from college has been my greatest life event. Since starting school at 18, to graduating at 26, I have looked back at my life and thought I would be somewhere completely different. Today I accept where I am. My experiences while in college have made me who I am. I believe life has brought be to social work because of my past experiences. Now immersed in adulthood I have a better sense of how events in life will influence my future and I try to stay in the present.
