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1.1 Entering Adolescence
I chose my tenth birthday as my entrance into adolescence. Turning ten felt like a major event because it was double digits and that was a big deal to me. Celebrating my tenth birthday I received my first phone and started to be allowed to travel alone. Being given more responsibility and trust from my parents I felt like a big kid. Ten is also when I learned about and started to experience puberty which further solidified that I was entering a new stage of my life. -
3.1 Social Cognition
In sixth grade I felt as if my entire world was falling apart due to my parents divorcing and being forced to split my time between them. I didn't want to attend school because it felt like everyone at school could tell that I was upset all of the time. I was experiencing depression and struggled to take care of myself and at school I experienced an imaginary audience of my peers judging me. -
2.1 Maturational Timing
I chose my 11th birthday which is on the early side of maturation. By age 11 I had already started to develop secondary female sex characteristics and experience the social divide of male and female. As an early maturing girl I experienced having older friends which led to drinking and trying out drugs the older kids had access to. I began to skip school and ended up being put into a special school for at risk youth. Being thrust into the teenage world at such a young age definitely impacted me. -
3.2 Abstraction
As a kid my sense of self was deeply tied to who my family was. My family was Jewish and so I was Jewish. In addition I loved to cook and grew up around foodies so engaging with food was part of our family dynamic. Being a 'chef' was really important to me because cooking gave me a way to contribute to my family. Outside of my family I identified as a friend and highly valued my friendships. Being a good friend was and continues to be important to me. -
4.1 Gender Intensification
At the end of elementary school I had already begun to notice a divide between boys and girls. As a self proclaimed tomboy I was upset that boys who had long been my friends suddenly didn't want anything to do with me. I felt pressure to act more female in order to stay friends with the girls but that came at the cost of my male friends. In middle school my experience of gender intensification only widened and it felt as though I was trapped within gendered expectations. -
3.3 Social Comparison
In middle school I would often compare myself to my peers which didn't feel very good. It felt like I was failing and they were thriving. As a student who was at a mainstream school with an IEP I often felt stupid when I needed more time to complete the same test. I would not only compare myself to peers but also the adults in my life which made me feel even more inadequate. As a kid it felt like I should be doing more because that's how you become successful. -
8.1 Rite of Passage
My rite of passage was turning thirteen which in Judaism is when you become counted as an adult for prayers. For me I had a bat mitzvah ceremony where I read torah and then had a party celebrating the beginning of my adulthood. It was really exciting to have the new responsibility of being counted for prayer during the adult services. -
2.2 Niche Picking
Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community is something that was really important to my development as an adolescent. I actively sought out support from the local gay center and joined the programming they had available. In June 2015 I walked in my first pride parade which occurred on the date that gay marriage was federally legalized. Being surrounded by like minded people made me feel safe to be myself and explore what that meant. -
6.1 Parent Adolescent Conflict
I often fought with my mom growing up and living at boarding school made it so the short break times when we were together was often filled with fighting. I remember a huge fight we had over summer break before my senior year of highschool, it was so bad that I stormed out and then didn't have anywhere to go and ended up sleeping on my co-workers floor that night. Because of my egocentrism I refused to apologize and admit I had a part in the fight and harmed both myself and mom with my hubris. -
6.2 Intimacy
I worked at summer camp as a counselor in 2019 and there I met of of my best friends, Xander. He filled a part in my life that I hadn't known was missing with his effortless warmth and companionship. We spent all our time together and worked the same shift in the kitchen that summer. Being so close to another person it was like we totally understood each other and were as close as we could be. I felt completely fulfilled in my friendship with Xander. -
1.2 Emerging Adulthood
I chose the start of my college career as my entrance into adulthood. As a young adult in college I became independent by being responsible for myself and my choices. For the first time I dated and explored my sexuality. I emerged into adulthood through the friendships and relationships I created at the start of college. -
7.1 Transition to college
I went to a small boarding highschool so I thought I was well prepared for college having already lived in similar conditions. While I was academically prepared going from being at the top of my highschool to the bottom of a new college environment, the top dog phenomenon, was difficult. What was great about the college transition was the opportunity to meet diverse people from all over the world and find people I connect with. -
7.2 Transition to Work
I got my first office job working from home in the fall of 2020. Transitioning to working in an office environment and having to attend meetings was a big shift having only worked hourly labor jobs previously. I found that their was a lot more independence working in an office environment because I was trusted to do my work and as long as everything got done on time I had total autonomy. This worked really great for me and decreased my stress as I could do everything at my own pace. -
6.3 Physical Support
I have a progressive genetic disease which became active at the beginning of 2020. I moved to MI to live with my partner and best friend, Sam, in order to have a support system who was able to physically help me as I navigated my new body and physical limitations. Sam has seen me unable to move or function and carried me into the ER not breathing. He has always been just a phone call away whenever I've needed somebody. He went above and beyond to physically support me during my time of need. -
7.3 Intrinsic Motivation
In April of 2023 I was finishing my honors capstone proposal and was highly motivated to hand it in. Having a project that I really cared about meant that I was really engaged in the capstone process. Being able to self-determine what direction the project went was really great as I could go in the direction I felt most excited about studying.