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Bio Dad
My father has been in and out of my life since birth. He was an alcoholic, an abuser mentally and physically, and an adulterer. It took several years for my mom to permanently remove him from our home. He refused to pay child support or help with finances which forced my mother to support us solely. Due to this hardship, she developed a hatred and lack of trust in men which was constantly present in our home. This has presented gender equality issues that I still struggle with at times today. -
Manners
Manners have always played an important part in my life. My family taught and enforced them strictly. They believed that it demonstrated a sign of self-worth and confidence and it defined your character as well as influenced your attitude. It also shows respect and simple kindness to the person it is directed toward. To this day, I am still very respectful to all around me and have also taught my children to behave in this manner. -
Cherokee Powwows
My grandfather was a Native American full blood Cherokee Indian. in the summers we celebrated his culture by attending powwows on the reservation. We dressed up wore moccasins, deerskin dresses and beaded head bands and belts. He would explain to me the importance of the lands, plants, and rain then we would dance and give thanks to the earth. I still to this day love being outside and gardening and appreciate nature in its fullest. -
Grandfather
My grandpa was a welder who worked for an oil and gas company. One day he cut into a pipe that had not been turned off and was in an explosion which left fifty percent of his body burned. He of course was rushed to a burn unit where he spent several months. I was too young to visit him but could hear patients yell and cry as their burns were being peeled from the waiting room. In those months, I watched people go in and out of the burn unit, and I discover that pain did not discriminate. -
Clowns Ministry
Clowns was a ministry group that I was asked to be a part of while I was in middle school. I joined because my best friend asked me to attend with her and all my friends were in the group. We were a service group that went to children's hospitals, nursing homes, and provided our services to whoever needed them. My eyes were open to the suffering of others and the basic human need to be loved no matter who you are. -
Tennis
My grandmother always valued education. We went to the library, researched and conducted science experiments, and played jeopardy every night which was her favorite. Financially no one was ever able to until college so my grandmother taught me how to play tennis in the hopes that I could earn a scholarship. I played tennis through college and it paid for a good portion of my bachelor's degree. I was the first person to graduate from college in my family and now my girls are both attending ASU. -
Marriage
June 1st, 1996, I married my husband now of twenty-five years. We meet in college and were married one year later. We both worked full time, went to school full time, managed to maintain a home, and stayed healthy. This was the first time in my life that I felt I had a real home and the first time I put my trust in a male as an adult. -
My Babies
I was loved as a child, cared for, and cherished. For some reason, I was always a bit reserved with my affections, until the birth of my children. Then I began to show affection freely and frequently and have carried that into their adult lives. We show affection by a hug, kiss on the cheek at times, a pat on the back, but always say I love you when we leave. This established culture which I have carried down to my children has also opened up the line of communication in our household. -
Soccer Team
My daughter played soccer for many years. My family became extremely close to the families on the team as we spent most of our time together not only on the soccer field but at each other's homes. However, as the girls became older and their abilities and talents developed you could see the team began to divide. People that we once thought were our family became rude, hateful, and vindictive to not only our family but to my daughter. We felt discrimination due to our daughter's athletic ability. -
My Mother
This is my mother Sherry Abney. She passed away in December due to COVID-related complications. She was an amazing mother who dedicated her life to others and her children's success. She overcame many obstacles and hardships in her life but still was the most kind, compassionate, and giving person I have ever known. I always knew she was but this didn't fully present itself to me until her death. Her devotion to service was carried down to myself and my kids as they always put others first. -
Masters Degree
Applying for the Graduate Program was a tough decision. I was scared because of my age, gender, but mostly worried about lacking in the responsibilities that I have at home and work. However, once classes began I started noticing people of different ages, classes, ethnicities, and abilities. It was wonderful to see and share these differences in a variety of media outlets and realize no matter who we were, where we were from, or how we got there that we were all in the same boat.