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1492
English, French, and Spanish Exploration
Columbus landing in the new world jumpstarts exploration of the Americas leading to France, England, Spain, and some other countries having a competition to see who could rape America first. These countries always get credit for discovering American but it was actually the vikings and the government is trying to cover this up. -
Roanoke
Roanoke was the fist English colony. However, it disappeared shortly after it was founded and to this day nobody knows what happened to the Roanoke settlers. England didn´t return to the new world until 20 years. -
What are the French up too?
They´re busy making friends with the natives and getting rich off beavers (Their fur) -
What is Spain up to?
They are busy killing a bunch of people and digging for gold in South America, they are not a threat. Yet. -
The English Doth Have Returnith
Greedy Englishmen arrive in Virginia, in the name of profit and the Virginia Company, hence Virginia. -
Virginia House of Burgesses
Around the same time that the pilgrims were deciding that they needed a social contract. The businessman down in Virginia decided they needed a hardcore government and created a house of representatives known as the Virginia House of Burgesses to do the governing. -
Even More British People Arrive
The Pilgrims arrive at Plymouth, MA. in the name of religious freedom. It´s not like they would ever try limit anyone else´s religious freedom. Cough cough Salem Witch Trials Cough Cough. They also sign the Mayflower Compact, which is kind of a big deal because it was the first form of self government in the Americas. -
We have a bunch of land now. Or do we?
King George III gets all this land from France from fighting over who gets Ohio and instead of letting the colonists settle there, he issues the proclamation of 1763 preventing the colonists from moving past the Appalachian Mountains. I´m sure this is never going to come back to haunt him. -
TAXES!!!
Because as it turns out, war is pretty expensive, England is now super broke from fighting with France. England decides that the colonies need to start pulling their own weight and starts taxing everything, like printed products and even tea. The colonists are SUPER happy about this. -
The Colonists Start To Get Angry
So as it turns out the colonists don´t like being told what to do and taxed a bunch when they have no say in it. They begin to do things like throwing millions of dollars worth of tea into Boston Harbor (tea party anyone?). -
Now The King Is Angry
So King George finds out what the colonists did to all his tea, so he gets mad. He decides to pass a bunch of laws that limit the freedoms of the colonists. To the colonists, these acts are intolerable (see what I did there). -
Now the Colonists are REALLY Angry
So understandably, the colonists are pretty mad at this point and start to rebel even harder, culminating in a conflict at Lexington. The colonists lost this one because they're a bunch of farmers but then later successfully held off the British at Concord. Also the first shot fired at Lexington is known as the shot heard round the world. -
Farmers are Bad at War
So as it turns out a bunch of plucky farmers who know nothing other than, well, farming so make for a super great military force. So the next couple of battles don't go very well for the colonies, most result in massive defeats such as the battle of Bunker Hill. It looks like they'll need someone to pick up the slack and whip the troops into shape, perhaps during a grueling long winter. -
It's Independance Time
The battles of Lexington and Concord gave the colonists a rush and showed them what is like to feel independant and they decide that they should just go ahead and become a seperate country. So they declare independance in the fittingly named Declaration of Independance (written by this old guy named Thomas Jefferson).
