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Chapter 1 - The Pre-Simp Age
I was born, and then proceeded through childhood when I didn't know what feelings were. Bullied through 6th grade :/. -
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Chapter 2 - The First Simp
6th grade - Got my first real crush, tried to flirt (badly), got made fun of because it was pretty obvious that I was simping. Never followed up on it because I am a coward. Mostly got over it by winter of 7th grade. -
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Chapter 3 - Simp-less, Simp-less
7th grade I kinda popped off and didn’t get bullied anymore, mildly more confident, but didn’t actually simp for anyone for a hot minute. Good times tbh, was thriving that year and into 8th grade. -
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Chapter 4 - Simping but also Being a Dick
8th grade came around, and everyone felt like hot shit cause they were the oldest middle schoolers (dumb), including me (very dumb). A very odd and complicated school year including dinner dances, people liking me, me being too oblivious to go for it even when I was directly told (stupid stupid stupid) then simping a little for one of the girls friends (stupider stupider stupider). All in all, bad. -
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Chapter 5 - Reverse Simp Summer
Summer came around, I went to this architecture camp for a week and met this girl who crushed on me (and me for her too). I left for the Jamboree for two weeks and we “”””got together”””” in a group chat when I was on the bus to West Virginia. In summary, weird. Then we had to “””””break up””””” cause her mom kept checking her texts, and then she tried to set me up with one of her friends. In summary, weirder. All downhill from here. -
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Chapter 6 - High School Simp-sical
Freshman year started, no simping until the spring cause I wasn’t depressed yet. Girl in a few of my classes, very attractive and also just a genuinely good person, simp in silence until winter of sophomore year. Eventually confess very poorly, she’s nice about the rejection, we’re still friends. Overall an uneventful segment. -
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Chapter 7 - Busch Gardens March n’ Simp
This trip was very bad and I regret literally everything. One of the major catalysts that sparked my depressive episodes, along with AP chem. Horrible horrible horrible -
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Chapter 8 - Good Soup, Bad Simp
Parents realized that I was depressed as fuck, took me to therapy, was big good. Helped a lot. Still had loneliness issues which is why I asked several girls out over the summer (embarrassing) and got rejected by all of them (to be expected). Was talking to a girl in the beginning of junior year when I felt a lot better about myself, when the cursed month began. -
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Chapter 9 - The “““Relationship”””
Mutual friend apparently had a crush on me for a while, I was told by one of our other friends, and then I’m enthralled with the fact that someone likes me that I completely disregard that I don’t feel the same about her. But anyway we start dating, go way way way way way way too fast in a month, and (cont’d) -
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Chapter 9 cont’d
I realize that she has really bad mental issues that are causing myself to lose the progress I made during therapy (also minor trauma when I would stay up worrying she’d have done something stupid by the end of the night). Broke up with her after about a month, feel super guilty about it but didn’t regret it. In summary: bad. -
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Chapter 10 - Non-simpquitur
After that really bad experience, no more simping until like February of junior year around Valentine’s Day because fuck Valentine’s Day. Cute girl, wanted to ask her out to Junior Prob, couldn’t work up the courage to do it, COVID saved my ass in that regard. -
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Chapter 11 - Fuck COVID, all my homies hate COVID
COVID happened, schools closed, isolation depression ensued, you know the vibe. In summary: bad. -
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Chapter 15 - Where we Simp Now
And now we’re back to the present, I’m still simping for the same girl. Turns out she’s in pep band like me, so yeah that’s interesting. I don’t know what to do about it nor do I know if I have the sack to even ask her out before someone else inevitably does but it’s w/e at this point I try to squash out all hope that people are mutually romantically attracted to me cause they never actually are. To be continued -
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Chapter 12 - Return of the Simp
Start going back to class, in some classes with the same girl, start simping again. In like April I asked her out in like the stupidest way possible and she actually said yes! ..because she didn’t realize it would be like a date. She felt bad about it, so i good no spite, just another shot in the dick (also the day I found out I got rejected from my dream school). For additional info, ask me about the cursed gift card. -
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Chapter 13 - Simp-ior Prom
So I had no one to ask for senior prom (dumb) so i asked my best friends girlfriends best friend out as friends (she was a junior so I wanted her to be able to go). Sorta caught feels just a little bit (bad) and then after prom I secretly thought she hated me so that sent me into a dummy thicc depressive episode. Graduation happened, and my friends and I (including her) went up and stayed in a house for a week. It was then that I realized that she did not in fact hate me, I’m just stupid. -
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Chapter 14 - Experience College Simping
So before I came to Cornell, we had to do this stupid zoom call thing, it had icebreakers, and me and this girl bonded over how hyper our instructor for this thing was. I follow her on instagram, and we dm until we moved up here. Being in college and meeting so many new people was weird since I lived in a small town, so I’d catch minor feelings left and fucking right. Then the whole incident happened, you can dm me if you want more info but I’m kinda tired of telling the story.