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37,000 BCE
First Fossils
The oldest fossils ever found are stromatolites, which are the remains of ancient bacterial colonies, in 3.7 billion-year-old rocks in Greenland. These fossils are 200 million years older than the next oldest stromatolites, which are 3.48 billion years old and were found in Western Australia -
13,000 BCE
North Africans used Meth?
Nope, but they did appear to bury their dead with the ephedra plant, which is what crystal meth is derived from. Archaeologists discovered ephedra pollen buried with 15,000 year old skeletons in a cemetery at Taforalt Cave in Morocco. Ephedra is used for headaches and weight loss. Maybe they believed it eased your way to the afterlife? -
9500 BCE
Oldest Structure on Earth
Göbekli Tepe is an archaeological site of a temple in Southeastern Turkey and has been dated back to 9500 - 8000 BCE. This date was discovered by carbon dating old tools found during excavations. This building is in fact the oldest structure on earth that we have found to date. -
3500 BCE
First "Yo Mama" Joke
The first-known "Yo Mama" joke occurred in 3500 BCE. Researchers in Babylon found a tablet that featured inappropriate jokes revolving around beer, death and mothers. Since the tablet is so old that it's hard to read, perfectly translating the joke about the mother is difficult, but it says, "...of your mother is by the one who has intercourse with her. What or who is it?" In other words, "yo mama so ugly, only that dead drunk dude would have sex with her." -
600 BCE
The Little Dipper became a Constellation
The Greek philosopher Thales may have created Ursa Minor by clipping the wings of Draco. This new constellation may have helped Greek sailors locate the north celestial pole. -
Period: 300 BCE to
Great Wall of China
Many skeletons are buried in its walls because many workers died making the wall. -
1095
First Crusade Happens
The First Crusade was the first of a series of religious wars called the Crusades. The campaign was launched in response to an appeal from Byzantine Emperor Alexios I Komnenos, who had been defeated by the Turkish Seljuks. The Seljuks had gained control of cities like Antioch and Edessa, and had made it difficult for Christians to make pilgrimages to the Holy Land. -
Mayflower arrives at Plymouth
Mayflower arrives: The Mayflower arrived in Plymouth Harbor on December 16 or 18, 1620. The Pilgrims began building their town while living on the ship. -
First Bible Printed in Western Hemisphere
The first Bible printed in America was not an English Bible, nor was it a scholarly Greek, Hebrew, or Latin Bible. It is this 1661/63 Bible in Natick (also known as Wampanoag), the language of Algonquian people of the present-day state of Massachusetts. It is also the first Bible printed anywhere in the Western Hemisphere. -
Last Dodo Bird Killed
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Sacagawea eats a rattler's rattle
Sacagawea had her first baby. Jean Baptiste Charbonneau was his name, born on the Lewis and Clark expedition to his Shoshone mother and French father. To speed the birth along, Lewis noticed that Sacagawea was given two moistened rattles of a rattlesnake's tail. The medicine worked quickly. He was surprised that Native Peoples had more advanced medicine than settlers. -
Nick Defies Presidential Orders
The US invaded Mexico City and President Polk ordered Nick Trist of the state department to NOT negotiate a treaty because Polk wanted Mexican delegates to grovel before him Washington D.C. Trist wrote to his wife saying basically, "Screw Polk! The treaty needs to be made now in the city of Guadalupe Hidalgo." The US could have absorbed all of Mexico in the treaty, but it was racist against Mexicans, so it only took 55% of Mexico, the part that didn't have very many Mexicans living on it. -
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Colt .45 First Produced
The Colt .45, also known as the Colt Single Action Army (SAA) or the Peacemaker, was first produced -
The first Cattleman Revolver produced
Colt Single Action Army
Also known as the "New Model Army Metallic Cartridge Revolving Pistol", production began in 1873. The first production model was chambered in .44 SW and was found in a barn in Nashua, New Hampshire in the early 1900s -
Cocaine Sold as Cough Drops
Cocaine, heroin, and morphine were sold over the counter and advertised in newspapers. They were even given to babies for toothaches. -
Meth first synthesized
The honors go to Nagoshi Nagai, a Japanese pharmacist. The drug was originally used to treat narcolepsy, mild depression and a host of other health problems. It was a synthetic form of the ephedra plant, which, like marijuana, was used as a medicinal plant throughout Asia for millennia. -
First Remington .22 produced
Remington's first .22 caliber firearm was the Model 12 Slide Action Repeater -
First Successful Parachute
But news of it doesn't travel fast enough. Two days prior to Reichelt's fatally idiotic jump from the Eiffel tower, an American steeplejack, Frederick R. Law, had already successfully parachuted from the viewing platform of the torch of the Statue of Liberty 151 feet from the base of the statue, seemingly on a whim. He used pretty much the same design we use today. If only they had TikTok back then, Reichelt might not have done his stupid puffy suit death jump off the Eiffel tower. -
First Death Caught on Video
Airplanes were dangerous because the parachute hadn't been invented yet, so a French air club (France was the place to be if you wanted to learn how to fly a plane back then, especially if you were a Black woman) offered a 10,000 franc prize to the first to invent one. French tailor dude makes a really puffy suit. Tries it on dummies. Doesn't work. On self? Nope. -
Will the true Walter White please stand up?
Akira Ogata was the first to synthesize methamphetamine in a crystallized form. Ogata blended red phosphorus and ephedrine, which is derived from an Asian herbal plant, to produce an amphetamine that could be dissolved in water. Ogata's synthesis of methamphetamine replaced much more complicated earlier syntheses, and continues to be the method favored in illegal drug production. -
U.S. Border Patrol Established
Congress created the Border Patrol in 1924 to patrol the northern and southern borders. Many officers came from organizations with a history of racial violence and brutality, including the Ku Klux Klan and the Texas Rangers, carrying over the culture of a racist “brotherhood” into the new agency. In the Border Patrol’s early days, it focused on the unlawful entry of Asian and European immigrants through Mexico and Canada. -
Don't be a Pervert, Take Pervitin!
Meth took on a new form when the German pharmaceutical company Temmler came out with a tablet called "Pervitin". It became popular among soldiers, Luftwaffe (German air force) pilots, Japanese kamikaze pilots, and even Adolf Hitler himself (who later mixed it with cocaine and forced his soldiers to take it). The new pill could keep tired pilots more alert, increase endurance, and lift the spirits of those in battle (especially on suicide missions: Yay! High before we die!). -
Hitler gets twacked
Hitler took his first dose of the synthetic opiate oxycodone before a big meeting with his Italian dictator ally, Benito Mussolini. His provider for drugs, dude named Dr. Theodor Morell (a friend of the Nazi's official photographer) injected Hitler with over 800 doses of all kinds of stuff including bulls’ testicles, amphetamines, barbiturates, and opiates. In fact, the reason Hitler killed himself was because he couldn't get drugs in his destroyed city. Feening! -
Fentanyl was created
Fentanyl was created by Dr. Paul Janssen as an intravenous surgical anesthesia. The drug is 50–100 times more potent than morphine. Because of its strength, the drug was rarely used except in hospital operating rooms or on large animals. -
Palmer Born
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Ethan Born
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Corbin Born
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Grandma 200-Pumps a Skinwalker
He also said that Yoshi's tend to harm people by using some sort of human bone straw to spit at someone (think...spitballs only deadlier) and get human bones into them. Doctors can't detect it, but the Medicine Man that day pulled a piece of human skull out of Grandmas right shoulder, pretty big...about 2 inches long and 1 cm thick. -
Live Resin goes live
Given that up to 95 percent of a plant’s terpenes can be lost from harvest through the final curing process, Fenger decided to try something new. Seeking to produce a concentrate with the terpene profile and pungency of a plant fresh from the garden—and taking a leaf from the method of creating fresh-frozen water hash—he tried processing a batch of butane hash oil not from dried buds or trim, but from a freshly harvested, flash-frozen whole plant. -
"Crash Out" first used
Well, it was used before that to mean "go to sleep." But, this was when it was first used to mean "lose control and bust some ass." -
Fortnite's first Cosmetics
Which one is your favorite?
