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Sure signs of dementia
Storing cooked meat in the oven. Repeating questions. Not recognizing family friends. -
Caregiving
Michelle and I are providing meals and cleaning for them. -
Ted almost dies for the first time
I came to the house to find Ted barely concious on the couch. Mom didn't understand how to call 911. He had an intestinal infection, lucky to have survived. -
Meeting with Glen Miller
Eirik meets with Glen Miller to ask him about possible solutions for the housing issue. -
Dag suggests that he can buy the house for a lump sum
Dag suggests that he will try to get compliance from the other siblings to a lump sum payment based on mortagage payments for the fair market value of the house for 5 years. The sum falls in between $30K to $50K. Eirik agrees but it never materializes. -
Quotes for rennovations
I got quotes for the renovations, Dag asks me to get two seperate quotes, one for the granny suite and another for the rest of the house. I got quotes from Mac Gervan, Martin from Ace and RoryDan, all were presented to Dag in April. -
Assesment of 19 The Point rd
Mom and Ted have an assesment of 19 The Point road by Weatherby. The estimated value was $280 000. In Dag's opinion, it wasn't high enough. -
Meeting with David Hurley
David Hurley outlines a Mutual Rental Arrangement. It provided a compromise between both parties. It provided a fair and equitable solution for the Capital Improvements that were needed to remove the mold and it presented a rental arrangement that satisfied the issue of getting the inheritance early. -
Dag sends email outlining Hurley's agreement and other options
Email is included in documents -
Mom and Ted living in unhealthy environment.
Mom starts leaving food in the oven. Mouse feces all over house. Urine and feces all over the bathroom and mold in all the bathrooms. -
Dag becomes POA
Dag and Hurley have to convince Mom to sign over her power of attorney because Dr Garcia refuses to declare her incompetent. -
Dag asks if we would rather buy or rent
Dag suggests a scenario where we buy the house and pay mortgage payments and it would be forgiven when she passes. We agree to that option but an offer is never presented. -
Property manager gives an estimate for rent and repairs
Eirik approaches Matt Brigden for recomendations for what repairs he would do if he were to rent the house to strangers and what rent he would charge. -
Family meeting at the Point
All siblings came to the Point to discuss Mom's health care options and Eirik and his family moving into the point. It is agreed that Eirik moves into the Point on Aug 20th. Mom's stuff would be gone through and the things that wouldn't be used, would be put in storage. It was agreed that renovations would be done and rent would be paid. No contractor had been selected. -
Mom and Dad's possessions need to be organized and moved
19 The Point road is full of our parents possesions. Very little is organized, gone through or thrown out. It is a very dificult task because Mom harasses, curses and returns anything that is removed. Someone still had to do it. Left to Eirik, his friends and family. -
Dr Garcia recommends that we don't split mom and Ted
Dr Garcia recommends that we don't remove Mom from Ted's care because it will too traumatic. She encourages the family to go ahead with the granny suite because she foreshaddows Ted's innability to care for mom. -
Moving Day
Eirik, Michelle and Eirik's friends move and organize all of Mom's possessions. It is a very emotional event, Ted was suppose to take her for a drive and occupy her. Instead he dropped her off at the Point and she yelled and cursed at us, as we moved her stuff out. It took days. Mom calls the police and Hurley. -
Point is painted and cleaned professionally
House is cleaned by Michelle, Eirik, Michelle's mom and professional cleaners. Michelle and Patricia Hawkes paint the inside of the house. -
Eirik and Family move in
Eirik and Family move in. Contractor still hasn't been selected and therefore the granny suite was not ready. Mom went to stay at Ted's downtown apartment. She is very confused. Does not understand why she has to move. She confuses Ted's place for a hotel on Princess street. -
Dag unilaterally decides to change the rental agreement
Dag decides unilaterally to change the agreement that Hurley created. He will do all the renovations for Mom's granny flat but does not think it's fair to update the rest of the house. He is concerned that if Mom passes before the five years expire, that Eirik won't pay for the rest of the renovations. Despite Hurely's assurances, Dag is concerned that he will be sued by other siblings and/or their kids. -
Contractor is chosen
RoryDan is chosen to do the renovations. They are only renovating the area for my mom, despite the mold in the rest of the house. Eirik was left to find his own financing to renovate the rest of the house. -
Ted approaches Michelle and Eirik to transfer care of Anne Marie
Ted calls a meeting with Eirik and Michelle to tell them that he is sick of caring for AM. He warns us that he could drop her off any day for good. -
Eirik get's in touch with Stacey Hickman Home Care
After Ted almost died for the second time. The social worker at the hospital refused to discharge Ted unless they agreed to get help in the home. I got in touch with Stacey Hickman at KDHS for home care. -
Eirik and Michelle are still providing meals, medication and care for mom
Ted was out of comission for over a month and they as a couple needed a tremendous amount of care because Mom had forgotten how to cook and clean. She needed help with her meds. -
Ingrid visits
Ingrid comes to Canada from Norway to help Michelle and Eirik transition Mom back to the Point. After a great deal of effort Ted would not let Mom to move back. Even though he had already told us that he was going to drop her off for good. -
Dr Garcia recomends not putting mom in a home
Dr Garcia warns that we shouldn't try to move Mom from Ted's place into a home. She will be too angry to adjust and could end up being physically restrained or druged. She tells us to keep trying to convinvce Ted to let mom come home and allow her to adjust around people who know her in an environment she is familiar with. -
Eirik meets with Royal Bank
Eirik meets with Shawn Kimber regarding a line of credit or a loan to pay for the upgrades at 19 the Point road. Without a secured asset, there is no way I can get a loan or mortgage. -
Granny Suite renovations are complete
RoryDan completet the renovations but Ted still refuses to let mom move in. Siblings agree that we need to romove mom from Ted's apartment to stop her rapidly declining dementia. -
Elder abuse is called
Elder abuse is called and an officer visits Ted's apartment. They find no clear reason to remove Mom from his apartment. The officer insist that there is more care, so we increased Angie's hours. -
Dag bullies Michelle
During a phone call with Michelle, Dag explains our options: 1) for us to pay for all necessary renovations to kitchens and baths on a house we don't own, then when it comes time to buy it from the estate we would need to pay fair market value for our own upgrades; 2) Pay fair market rent on a house with mould; 3) Accept his offer to sell the house to us at fair market value or be out by April 30, 2012. -
Ted is very abusive
Ted is abusive with us regarding the renovations, his and mom's care, controlling with mom and forces himself to dinner with us. -
Dag wants Eirik to pay rent
Even though there is still mold in the bathrooms and no agreement has been made, Dag demands rent from Eirik. Many arguments insue, Dag says that Eirik must pay rent or buy the house. Many offers but nothing formal. Dag threatened Eirik with evicition. -
Eirik reaches out to siblings for rental or ownership aggreement.
Mom was no longer at 19 the Point road so a new agreement needed to be agreed upon. -
Mom tries to come home
Ted sleeps all day but won't let mom leave without him. Mom get's bored and tries to get home. She takes a city bus back to the Point. Another time, we got a call from Ted because they had quarelled and she left the building. -
Trip to Norway planned
A trip to Norway is planned for Mom. Vesla would take her on the plane and Ingrid and Astrid would assist her in Norway. Ted interferes as much as possible. -
Mom calls daily
mom calls daily asking if we can come get her. Eirik and Michelle would go to the apartment just to have Ted refuse to let her go. -
Norway trip is cancelled
It becomes too dificult to try and orchestrate getting Mom away from Ted and getting her on a flight. -
Ted wants Mom to move to Norway
Ted prevented us from taking Mom to Norway but now insists that Mom should go live in Norway. Not the Point where her granny flat is, but a totally unprepared environment. Eirik suggests to take her there for a month just to get her away from Ted. It didn't work out. -
Ted decides to move to a nursing home
Ted decides that he can't live on his own anymore. He wants us to pay for mom to live with him at Fairfield Manor on Gore road. We refuse because they don't provide appropriate care for Alzheimer's patients. -
Dr Garcia recomends against Mom living at an assisted living home.
Dr Garcia strongly discourage us from admiting Mom to a assisted living facility like St Lawerence place. She also warns us that she will be very angry and aggressive when she has to leave Ted. If she becomes too aggressive as she goes into a nursing home she risks being physically restrained or drugged. She recomends that we surround her with familiar people who care for her in a familiar environment. -
Michelle convinces Ted to let AM move home
Michelle manages to reason with Ted, for some reason he always listened to her. Eirik and Michelle have to physically remove Mom from Ted's apartment, and take her back to her granny flat. -
Mom is very aggressive and abusive.
Mom spends her time trying to call Ted to come get her. He is mean to her so she get's very angry and takes it out on us. Tries to kick us out. She follows us around and swears at us. She is nasty with the kids. -
POA makes no arrangements to pay for Mom's cost of living
POA makes no offer to pay for Mom's food, clothes, or utilities. After sending him bills and not getting any reply, Eirik has to take Mom to her bank to withdraw funds. -
Astrid and Nils come for a visit.
Astrid and Nils come for a visit and take mom out to distract her. Astrid gives into Mom's begging to take her back to Ted's for tea. He changes his mind about letting her go and Mom refuses to leave. Michelle has to go back to convince Ted to let her come back to the Point, which he finally does. -
24 hr care for mom is recomended by Dr Garcia
Dr Garcia recomends 24 hr care for Mom. The care worker Angie, comes at 8 am and stays with mom until Eirik and Michelle came back from work at 4pm. This continues 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for six months. Eirik and Michelle only have one night off the entire 6 months. -
Ted moves to Fairfiled Manor
Ted moves into a double room in Fairfield Manor. He asks if AM could move in with him. -
CCAC visit
CCAC comes to visit and after consultation with me, mom and Dr Garcia it was agreed that Mom would go on the list for long term care. The expectation was that she would be on the list for 12 to 18 months before something would come up at Rideau Crest or Fairmount. The only two places that I would accept. If you defer, you go to the back of the line. -
Eirik and Michelle provide 16 hour care for AM
Eirik and Michelle provide 16 hours of care for AM. They provide meals, cue medications, cleaning, dressing and transportation from 4pm to 8am, 7 days a week, for six months. No financial assistance from POA, Eirik takes AM to bank to get money. -
Open bed at Rideau Crest
Despite the expected time for the waiting list, Mom is offered a bed at Rideau Crest for Feb 20. If Eirik turns it down it could be another 12-18 months, so Eirik consulted with KDHS and Dr Garcia and it was decided that it was the right time. Eirik recieved no support for Mom's transition to the Point from his siblings. -
KFLA Helath Unit confirm mold at 19 The Point rd
The KFLA health unit find mold in the bathrooms and bedrooms at 19 the Point road. All siblings are notified. -
Eirik asks POA for resolution for 19 The Point
Once AM moved to Rideau Creast, Eirik asks for a resolution for 19 The Point road. Dag offers a number of different solutions including buying it at market value and paying a mortage to the estate or paying a lump sum to the estate. He wants Eirik to pay for all renovations for the house and also pay rent. -
POA offers Eirik 50% of 19 The Point rd
POA offered Eirik 50% of 19 The Point rd. In return Eirik has to give up all his inheritance and he has to pay rent on the other half of the house. Eirik took the offer to his lawyer, Susan Elliot and she strongly recomended that we not accept that offer. It was highly irregular. -
Eirik approaches a mortgage specialist
Eirik meets with AM's long time business associate and friend John Hunt. He is a mortgage specialist and confirms that no lenders will give a mortgage to a perspective borrower when they only own 50% of the house. The third expert that Eirik has approached for a solution. -
POA gives Eirik ultimatum
POA gives Eirik and his family the ultimatum to either take the 50% ownership deal or move out. Eirik notifies the family that he is moving out in Aug. -
POA threatens Eirik with litigation
POA asks David Hurley to approach Eirik to pay back rent for 19 The Point rd from Aug 2011 to July 2013 even though the renovations were not completed and the mold wasn't removed. Upon consultation from a lawyer, Eirik elects to not pay the back rent. -
Eirik moves out of 19 The Point road
Due to health hazards in the house and the lack of cooperation from the siblings, Eirik moves out of 19 The Point road. -
Eirik remains primary caregiver for AM
Eirik becomes primary caregiver for AM at Rideau Crest.