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Birth
I was born December 9th, 1995 in Tacoma, Washington. Infancy; trust v mistrust -
Tacoma, Washington to Chicago, Illinois
In the spring of 2000, my father’s alcoholism and drug use reached a new height. My mother, frightened, packed up my sister and I and moved us to live with her family in Chicago. This changed my immediate family structure (microsystem) from living in a household with my father, mother, and sister, to a household with my grandmother and grandfather, two uncles, mother, and sister. My uncles were positive male role models, I felt safe and secure here. 4 years old; preschool “initiative v guilt” -
Chicago, Illinois to Tucson, Arizona
One year after restarting life in Chicago, my father shows up. Due to my mother failing to follow legal procedures (exosystem) when moving my sister and me out of state, he can press kidnapping charges if she does not return to Tacoma. We return, but my father’s reputation for drinking on the job makes him unable to secure work in Tacoma (exosystem,) so we move again. My father becomes increasingly abusive, my mother’s depression worsens, I’m scared. 5 years old; preschool, “initiative v guilt” -
My best friend’s family takes me in
The abuse at home escalates, my father and I are getting into verbal and physical altercations almost daily. I’m sick with anorexia and full of anger. I learn to channel my anger into sports and I spend as much time as possible practicing. I become close friends with my teammates, and get taken in by my best friend’s family. This is a mesosystem interaction between my family system and my team system. Disfunction at home led me to meet my needs through chosen family. 17 years old, adolescence -
Sexual assault
I get raped by a friend (microsystem). My friend is my next door neighbor, classmate, coworker, and until now a trusted friend. My mental health spirals to the lowest I’ve ever been. I’m constantly either crying or exploding with anger. I isolate myself, nearly dropout of school, and loose the majority of my friends. I finally start therapy. I unpack the trauma from the rape and from childhood and work towards healing. I rescue a dog, he is still my best friend. 20 years old; young adulthood -
Graduate University
I graduate with my bachelor’s degree from the University of Arizona in 2018. I’m relieved to be done with school and away from the anxiety inducing environment of the university (microsystem). I feel a bit directionless during this transition period and restless with life in Arizona. 22 years old; young adulthood, intimacy v isolation -
Move to Portland, Oregon
I pack up my Corolla with my dog and as many of my possessions as I can fit and I drive from Tucson to Portland, Oregon. I’m so excited! I’ve dreamed of leaving Arizona since I moved there as a child. The culture and environment of Portland is so different than what I had known growing up (macrosystem). I don’t know one person in the entire state. I feel free to be myself. 23 years old; young adulthood -
The present
I’ve been living in Portland for four and a half years. I’ve put down roots and found my people. I have an inner circle of trusted friends and for the first time I am in a long-term, intimate relationship that is healthy and secure (Microsystems). I no longer feel lost and lonely. I am at peace with who I am and for the first time in my life, I like myself. I continue therapy to help work through past traumas. I have just begun my MSW program, I feel hopeful. 27 years old; young adult